It's Scary To Be First

It's scary to be first. I'm the oldest of four daughters and I was the first to do many things in my family. Some things were exciting, some were difficult. I was the first to go to college, to get married, and to have a baby. I was the first to substantially break my parents' trust, the first to total a family car, and the first to move far away from home. As a first-born child, I also do everything with an added bit of control and perfectionism but also with direction, ambition, and commitment. 

Yesterday was the Feast of St. James. I've thought about him all day. He was the brother of the Apostle John; possibly the older brother. He and his brother John were called by Jesus right after the brothers, Simon Peter and Andrew, on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. He heard Jesus teach with authority, watched Him cure Simon Peter's mother-in-law, and raise Jairus' daughter from the dead. He was part of Jesus' inner circle of friends, along with Simon Peter and John. Jesus asked them to come to the mountain and pray. They were there to witness the Transfiguration of Jesus, see Moses and Elijah, and hear the voice of God. Jesus called James and his brother John, "Sons of Thunder." James and John could not have known the cost of discipleship when their mother asked Jesus to allow them to sit at His right and left in heaven. (Matthew 20:21) 

Saint James is the patron saint of Spain. His remains are held in Santiago do Compostela in Galicia. Legend holds that St. James's remains were carried by boat from Jerusalem to northern Spain where he was buried. The Way of St. James, El Camino de Santiago, is a pilgimage to the Shrine of St. James. The walk from the French border to Santiago de Compostela on the main routes of the Camino Frances beginning at Roncesvalles or Jaca takes about a month.  The Way is also the subject and title of a 2010 movie, written and directed by Emilio Estevez. His father, Martin Sheen, plays Tom Avery, the lead role in the fictional story.

St. James was the first to be martyred of all the apostles, but also the first to be reunited with Jesus in heaven. Here is an example of a first-born son going first; doing the hard thing first, before all of his friends. The courage and faith of St. James astounds me. The apostles were normal, human people filled with the Holy Spirit. Their kind of strength and courage was supernatural. We all have the ability to participate in the supernatural grace that the Holy Spirit gave St. James. On our part, it requires humility, receptiveness, and presence. May the Lord bless all of us, first-borns especially, with the strength of faith and the courage to go first!